Choosing Your Wedding Helpers

The great debate about asking close friends and relatives to help at your wedding! Some think it is an honor to be asked or would feel slighted if you didn’t. Yet, others feel it is an imposition and they’ll miss out on the party because they’ll be busy doing the task you assigned them.


That said, only you know your closest family and friends and how they will feel about helping you out. If you decide to ask someone to help out at the ceremony or reception, be sure to consider their personality and whether they are suited to the task you’ve chosen for them.


Once you’ve decided to ask friends and family to assist you, do so about a month before the wedding. There are several important jobs they can help with:


  • Personal AttendantDay-of Coordinators
  • Setup Crew and Decorators
  • Flower Pinners
  • Guest Book Attendant
  • Readers
  • Candle Lighters
  • Music – vocal or instrumental
  • Gift Attendants
  • Emcee at the reception
  • Gift and Flower Movers (from ceremony to reception)
  • Host and Hostess
  • Hand out programs or wedding favors
  • Cleanup Crew
  • Servers for punch, coffee and cake
  • Car Decorators


Do your best to break the job into smaller pieces if possible so no one feels overwhelmed or put-upon. If you feel inclined, write up a short, detailed description of what you want the person to do. That way you’ll avoid numerous questions on your wedding day.


One important item to note: If you are having cake cutters, be sure they are familiar with the proper way to cut a wedding cake. If you are in doubt about how this is done, check with your cake baker.


Be sure to present your helpers with corsages or boutonnieres in your wedding colors. This is a nice gesture to show them how important their participation is to you. You may choose to give them a gift to further show your appreciation. If you have room in your program, it’s a great idea to recognize the helpers by name and thank them for their special roles.


Whether your closest family and friends are guests at your wedding or assisting you with a task, find time to make them feel special and included in your once-in-a-lifetime celebration.