Saying “I do” the first time around was probably a thrilling, positive and emotional experience, which is why many couples want to do it again! Of course, those aren’t the only reasons to renew your vows or have a reaffirmation ceremony – you might also do it to show your commitment to your kids, celebrate a milestone anniversary or event, or to have the big celebration you didn’t throw the first time around. No matter your reason, vow renewal is special and should be treated that way. Before you start planning, take a look at this helpful guide to etiquette for round two:

Limit your renewals
Marrying the love of your life again should feel like a big deal. While you can renew your vows the day after the wedding or on your 25th anniversary (it doesn’t really matter, as long as it makes you happy), you don’t want to overdo it. Renewing your vows many times makes the event less special than it is, so limit the celebrations to highlight their sanctity. Many couples choose to rewed on an important anniversary or when one recovers from an illness (those sorts of things put your marriage in perspective). Others do so when their kids are old enough to understand the importance of the ceremony.

Send invitations
When you do figure out a good time to marry again, you should send wedding invitations. The size of your ceremony and celebration is totally up to you – it can include just close friends and family or everyone you know. Either way, your guests will totally love getting an invite in the mail. For the most part, renewal invitations are the same as the ones you selected for your wedding, but with one difference: the wording. Simply omit hosts, as you and your spouse are likely paying for the event (the first time might have included “Mr. John Smith and Mrs. Amy Smith invite you to the wedding of…”).

Do not ask for gifts
Guests shower couples with gifts when they first get married to help them begin their new life. You’ve been together for some time now and don’t need bedding, a blender, etc. The fact that your guests want to celebrate your successful and wonderful marriage should be enough of a gift.

Include your kids
Many couples were missing a few very important people at their first wedding: their kids. If you had your children after the nuptials, a renewal ceremony is the perfect time to include them. Teach your kids about your marriage commitment by involving them in the ceremony.