One of the most sensitive subjects you’ve probably had to deal with at one time or another is talking about money. For many of us, talking about money is an uncomfortable situation – one that we avoid as much as we can.
According to the wedding etiquette experts at Emily Post, “42% of brides and grooms-to-be said that ‘how to request money as a wedding gift’ is the most challenging etiquette issue they face as they plan their weddings.
So how exactly, can you ask that your friends and family give you money, instead of gifts, for your wedding? This is a tricky question, but there are ways to convey this message with tact.
DON’T BREAK THESE ETIQUETTE RULES
The easiest way to ask for money is to put it right on your wedding invitations, right? Did this suggestion make you cringe? Good, it should have!
Etiquette rules about what shouldn’t be mentioned on your wedding invitations are there for a reason, and registry information is at the top of the list. But, there are ways to get your “cash, please!” message out there in a more polite way.
1. HAVE YOUR FAMILY AND CLOSE FRIENDS SPREAD THE WORD
The most common (and etiquette-friendly) way to ask for cash wedding gifts is to have your family and close friends spread the word. Guests will likely ask your parents or friends what you want anyway, especially if their search for your wedding registry comes up empty.
2. ADD IT TO YOUR WEDDING WEBSITE
Remember, under no circumstances should you add your registry info on your invitations. However, putting information about gift-giving on your wedding website is totally acceptable and far less tacky.
Most wedding website templates will have an area for registry information. If you’re not registering at all, adding a note that tells guests you’re asking for money instead of things. But, do it in a tactful way. Here are some fun ideas:
Ask for Money with a Poem:
More than just kisses so far we’ve shared,
Our home has been made with love and care,
Most things we need we’ve already got,
And in our home we can’t fit a lot!
A wishing well we thought would be great,
(But only if you wish to participate),
A gift of money is placed in the well,
Then make a wish …. but shhh don’t tell!
Once we’ve replaced the old with the new,
We can look back and say it was thanks to you!
And in return for your kindness, we’re sure
That one day soon you will get what you wished for!
A Sweet Message:
A Note About Gifts
Your presence at our wedding is the best gift of all!
If you would like to bless us with a gift, a contribution
to our new-house fund is greatly appreciated.
Prithvi and Lucas
Ask for Online Contributions:
Make sending a gift of money for your wedding easy by creating an online registry, and adding a link on yoru website. Our favorites are:
The Knot Cash Funds – The Knot is one of the most trusted wedding planning resources around. Their new cash registry option is simple and straight-forward.
Honeyfund – One of the first registries for money, Honeyfund’s focus is on gifting money for your honeymoon.
If you don’t want money for yourselves, choose a charity that guests can donate to in honor of your wedding. Select a charity that’s close to your heart; your friends and family will adore this heartwarming gesture.
3. The Good Ol’ Dollar Dance
All we can say here is that you need to pay attention to what’s tradition or common in your group of family and friends. Different families have different customs. While having a dollar dance is a faux pas at some weddings, it’s a must-do at others.
So what is a dollar dance? It’s a tradition where guests is where guests pay a dollar (or any amount they choose) to dance with the bride or the groom. It’s a fun activity and is highly encouraged by some.
We have also heard of honeymoon fund jars and wedding wishing wells set up on the welcome table as a fun way to encourage monetary gifts. Some couples add an element of excitement by making it a competition. Have your guests vote on the honeymoon location by putting money in either jar – both labeled with a destination; the jar with the most money wins and you go on your honeymoon there!
Although these may seem like great ideas for your wedding, please consider your friends and family. We don’t recommend introducing a brand new custom, as it may appear to be a rude attempt at asking for money rather than a fun tradition everyone is familiar with.
Best wishes, brides and grooms and happy planning!